Canvas

It wasn’t supposed to end up like this

But I tell you now, the story

Of the paint splattered canvas

Once white and bare

Awaiting kaleidoscopic ideas

Of painter, once in euphoria

---

It wouldn’t have ended up like this

But here is the story

Of the birth of insecurities

Once unknown, some well managed

But words sowed seeds

In a painter, once self assured

---

It shouldn’t have ended up like this

But the story is clear

The canvas white, no more

And awe no more, to its beholder

Because of unkind words and opinions

The painter, now in need of an inner mending

When the going gets tough

When the going gets tough

There and then

A pouring, of what we’re made of

No one looks at the bird in flight

To make mention of its fatigue

But let same bird see a falling

Poor bird, with ruffled feathers

When the going gets tough

You keep going, soaring high like the bird

Till you meet ground

Poor fellow, with a few hiccups

You’ve seen a falling?

Get up, you forlorn one

And try again, that you may fly

To heights you once knew

Tower

Tower of refuge

They say You are

But to get to You,

Is going to take some effort

Lord be my helper

As I find my way to You

---

Tower of restoration

I’ve heard You are

But I’m deceived,

By the people so few

Lord quench the lying voices

That stay manipulating my thoughts

---

Tower of Purpose

Stay right where You are

Because I’m not losing You this time

Be it bend or bump on the way

I’m coming to You Lord

Sometime between sunset and sunrise

The Best

The best is yet to come

It wasn’t today

Nor was it yesterday

Perhaps, a morrow sooner

---

The best is yet to come

I tell myself every day

Someday, one day

The waiting time, shortening

---

The best is yet to come

Said gleefully, because…

Who knows, it may very well be

Right after this utterance

My black sunglasses

Legon Botanical Gardens. Circa 2018

There are so many eyes on me

So many stares, so many labels

There’s something about black

Black sunglasses

Boosted confidence?

Possibly

Black to go with everything?

Definitely

Protection from harmful sun rays?

Guaranteed

But none of these is the reason

For my copping of a pair

For as timeless as they may have made me out to be

There was something that I didn’t want the world to see

Calm

It’s as hard to explain

As it is to watch

Because today, Calm won’t even as much

Meet my eyes, or break into embrace

---

Two or three gather

There’s a crowd

Involuntarily losing control

I must prepare myself

---

A breath in, a breath out

What am I inviting in?

What am I letting out?

I’m held back suddenly

---

Silence, as I try to articulate

It’s like I have no voice

And something keeps pulling at my nape

Ten fingers, seemingly turned dozen

---

I tell you, Calm is out for me

She steals my voice

Latches onto my neck

And casts me into the springs of anxiety

I Don’t Have The Words

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t have the words this time round

I can only stare and hide hurt behind

this frown,

Because you wound my heart

You tear it apart

Whenever you feed your pride

And leave me in the dark.

 

 

I don’t have the words this time round

I can barely keep myself from falling

to ground,

Because my ego is bruised

I’m jobless and confused

Treated with disrespect,

I’m sullen and feel abused.

 

 

I don’t have the words this time round

I stand mortified before the crowd,

Because I am the laughing-stock

I fret and shake, not able to talk,

Called names, and ridiculed

It’s more bricks to this invisible wall.

 

 

I don’t have the words, you see,

So hold whatever is left of me

Because I’m a crumbling tower

I always seek to cower,

So look me in the eyes and understand,

That I simply do not have the words.

I Am The Ugly Duckling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I feel exposed

Insecure, lashing out at the mirror

Wrinkles I see, an unshapely nose

Depressed, hating the person that I am

I am the ugly duckling, for sure.

 

Today I keep to myself

Diffident, I am at my lowest point.

My protruding belly, and an unsightly breakout

Unhappy, I am crushed, falling to my knees

I am the ugly duckling, here to disappoint.

 

Today I declare  revamping

Concerned, I feel the urge to change me

Dreaming of a curvy behind and a porcelain face 

I will starve myself in hope of a weight drop

I am the ugly duckling, I hate me.

 

Today I can’t do anything

Unworthy, I give up, what’s the use

Hide your mirrors, cover up your lenses.

If you wish not to see the hag

I am the ugly duckling,

But go easy with your verbal abuse.

 

 

 

 

There’s Something About You

 

I wish you spoke,

with the confidence you stare me down with.

I wish they’d see,

the light you cover up, though darkness eclipses.

There’s something about you.

Rare, desirable, commanding,

Yet it is fear, you choose.

I watch the way you sashay

with a sway, ever so delightful

I love from a distance,

everything you embody.

There’s something about you,

Unsparing, hearty, stunning.

Yet, the spotlight you refuse.

They turn heads, and murmur,

at your very presence, they’re spellbound.

Some envy, others admire,

The crystal you are, a gemstone.

There’s something about you,

Wanted by all, precious, lustrous

Yet you don’t have a clue.

Behind The Curtain

Behind the curtain was where I retreated to,

When they scorned me and wished me unpleasantries.

Behind the curtain was my haven, I felt at ease, I was myself, and there wasn’t an embarrassing mistake to undo.

Behind the curtain was an everyday abode,

But today I come from behind the curtain to stand among ‘the tall trees’.

Behind the curtain I used to cry, tears of sorrow and regret,

Behind the curtain I beat myself up, I was my biggest critic whenever I felt I had not given off my best.

Behind the curtain I would watch and learn,
They thought of me as a nobody, but today I would show them, Yes I would.

Behind the curtain I would laugh, I was a mirror to the world, and their misdoings had me rolling on the floor,

Behind the curtain I had the most amazing conversations with my Maker,
He loved to listen and though sometimes as frail as a branch I would totter, I was grounded firm and deep in His Love.

Behind the curtain is a wonderful place.
But Should I forever stay there or dare to face everyone?
Today I draw that curtain, I might be back there again, who knows, but today I come out from behind the curtain.