When the going gets tough
There and then
A pouring, of what we’re made of
No one looks at the bird in flight
To make mention of its fatigue
But let same bird see a falling
Poor bird, with ruffled feathers
When the going gets tough
You keep going, soaring high like the bird
Till you meet ground
Poor fellow, with a few hiccups
You’ve seen a falling?
Get up, you forlorn one
And try again, that you may fly
To heights you once knew
Trust, like a tree in autumn
Questioned by the unknown
I know I can trust you, but…
Said branches to leaves
Said leaves to branches
Trust may break
Trust may be shaken
Trust may be lost, completely
Like a leaf in autumn,
One may feel betrayed
When suddenly let go
By whom they thought as their backbone
High up on cloud nine
Left to a plunging, cold fall
Like a branch in autumn
One may be shockingly abandoned
By leaves that leave
One may be made a fool of
By leaves that threaten to leave
That may be you, shaken, broken inside
Trust, like a tree in autumn
Broken by the unpredictable
I know I can trust you, but…
A day at a time
A tear that will dry
There is a reason,
There is a season
But still there is despair
A hug to say all is fine
A word of encouragement
To calm a racing mind
But there will still be that moment
Hands in pockets, and emptiness felt
Such is a revisiting sorrow
That comes in waves
Such is a daunting anxiety
That comes uninvited
Such is the guilt felt
For shifting the mood
So I ask that you bear with me
You jolly soul, best friend, confidant
One day it may be well
One day the pockets may be filled
With something other than emptiness
Something worth remembering,
Something that will carve a smile
Dawn sweep away the perils
That chided me in sleep
Praying and crying out, though nasal
My Saviour, He hears me weep
Turned on side, pillowing my fears
The stillness, so loud, envelops
Reminded of a hymn to repress the tears
Gathering courage, to never give up hope
The day is bursting through
And the remnants of night, they fade
Flee away you woe, perhaps one or two
For today we choose joy, and will not trade
To know that, she’s had you
Over and over
I want to understand
When you say you’re committed
Just how many times must I have you
To teach your body something new?
I say that I’m fine, but these words…
Need undoing , revealing that I’m not
In a world of chaos
Some are choosing their blues
The big ones, the little ones
And they ponder in recluse
So be wary and considerate
That you know not their fate
For some have slept
Only to wake and walk
Walking, but not existing
For some have dreamt
A thousand dreams, yet still sulk
Moping in misery
And for some, they are hoping
For a glimpse of a miracle
Hands clasped tightly
As they mumble prayers of petition
And as for the writer,
She cries out for reassurance
Tonight, feeling weighted more
By the littlest of blues
Night of laments
So why do I see the stars?
For every mistake, a choice I made
Night so contoured
Why do I sense hope?
The haze, slowly fading into the horizon
Night, of…restoration
Certainly must be
Regrets are in the distant
When you know, you know
Unmistakable synergy
The senses relaying,
The tragic news
But it’s the switch
The transition, the click
The crossover
Immediate and sudden
Burden is delivered
Guilt casts over
The silent ache, reverberating
This, the soundtrack to the loss of child
We won’t understand intimacy
Till we’ve known loss
With every passing second
Grief is closer
Waiting to invite herself
We may never understand grief,
For life in its entirety.
With many days yet to be realized,
The complexity only expands
And she will only go, when you do.
some fall in love
others love the idea of love
some thirst for water
others sip champagne in delight
poetry
i’ve fallen for you
you’re a scarf to smoothen out of place strands
you’re velvet to skin
cognac to the lost weeper
tea drank by the grassy bank
a sail to brave through strong winds and tides
pot of gold under the rainbow
a listener, comforter
nurse to the banes of my life
It’s as hard to explain
As it is to watch
Because today, Calm won’t even as much
Meet my eyes, or break into embrace
Two or three gather
There’s a crowd
Involuntarily losing control
I must prepare myself
A breath in, a breath out
What am I inviting in?
What am I letting out?
I’m held back suddenly
Silence, as I try to articulate
It’s like I have no voice
And something keeps pulling at my nape
Ten fingers, seemingly turned dozen
I tell you, Calm is out for me
She steals my voice
Latches onto my neck
And casts me into the springs of anxiety
If I knew,
That my goodbye would be stolen,
By the silence that is
I never would have been your friend
If I saw,
You treat me as an outcast
Like I was an easy page to turn
I never would have looked at you twice
And if I envisioned these tears,
Tears because of your doing,
That pelt my face every night
I never would have let you see my soul
The guests do the recap
Table talk about you
And I see myself in transition
From a high to low
A low I knew before you
And they are witnesses
At the table
I once thought never
I envisioned forever
But today is the curtain call
Today is the last pour down
If it takes some time
I know we’ll see the sun again
I know you’ll be fine
At the table
The hallucinations, the flashbacks
The chattering from the guests
All too familiar
Much overwhelming
This is all in my mind
Their murmurs are the voices in my head
I won’t, I can’t.
For the last time
I greet each memory
With the fondness of an amicable farewell
Because they have to go grey
Maybe one day, when I close my eyes
You will not appear so vividly as you do now
I woke up
To two men at my door.
With a flag, folded
And words to console.
I knew when I saw them.
The knight was gone.
They asked to come in.
These two men, and the flag.
There and then.
Caught up in a gaze
I saw their lips move
But I wasn’t hearing their words
A bed for two.
Breakfast going cold
Seconds chased the minutes
Soon it would be a day since…
My knees wobbled,
Today was that tragic day
Two men, and the flag
Instead of the love of my life.
bowendiaries 