It’s as hard to explain
As it is to watch
Because today, Calm won’t even as much
Meet my eyes, or break into embrace
Two or three gather
There’s a crowd
Involuntarily losing control
I must prepare myself
A breath in, a breath out
What am I inviting in?
What am I letting out?
I’m held back suddenly
Silence, as I try to articulate
It’s like I have no voice
And something keeps pulling at my nape
Ten fingers, seemingly turned dozen
I tell you, Calm is out for me
She steals my voice
Latches onto my neck
And casts me into the springs of anxiety
bowendiaries 