Inspired By Thaxted

Dawn sweep away the perils

That chided me in sleep

Praying and crying out, though nasal

My Saviour, He hears me weep


Turned on side, pillowing my fears

The stillness, so loud, envelops

Reminded of a hymn to repress the tears

Gathering courage, to never give up hope


The day is bursting through

And the remnants of night, they fade

Flee away you woe, perhaps one or two

For today we choose joy, and will not trade

Undoing

To know that, she’s had you

Over and over

I want to understand

When you say you’re committed

Just how many times must I have you

To teach your body something new?

I say that I’m fine, but these words…

Need undoing , revealing that I’m not

Blues

In a world of chaos

Some are choosing their blues

The big ones, the little ones

And they ponder in recluse

So be wary and considerate

That you know not their fate

For some have slept

Only to wake and walk

Walking, but not existing

For some have dreamt

A thousand dreams, yet still sulk

Moping in misery

And for some, they are hoping

For a glimpse of a miracle

Hands clasped tightly

As they mumble prayers of petition

And as for the writer,

She cries out for reassurance

Tonight, feeling weighted more

By the littlest of blues

Doubt

Babies, pure till they meet the world

But what is and isn’t doubt, before it’s stripped ?

We only then will know

When the medium that bears it

Is cast away


Drumroll, drumroll please…


I give you, present to you, the benefit of doubt

Let the innocence of the white snow

Make all seem without flaw

Let their footsteps

Reveal a sense of direction


But in reality

There is a story to every footstep

There is no doubt, but this, you do not see

Till the snow melts away

Till the footsteps no longer tread one way


Till the footsteps of a stripped innocence

Come knocking at your door

In an unexpected cold winter

To serve you back

Leaving no doubt, whatsoever

The End

When you know, you know

Unmistakable synergy

The senses relaying,

The tragic news


But it’s the switch

The transition, the click

The crossover

Immediate and sudden


Burden is delivered

Guilt casts over

The silent ache, reverberating

This, the soundtrack to the loss of child

Have I Settled

He’s in the shower
I sit at the nightstand
Wiping off lip rouge
Taking off my dainty pearls

The moon appears
And I can hear the wind whistling
For a moment I’m fixated in a distant past
Remembering vividly, the tryst, that tryst

A common visitor, this curiosity
Mere seconds only,
I cannot help but ask…
‘Have I settled?’

RELAPSE

4/5

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Don’t want to talk

Don’t want to go to work

It’s one of those days, I can only sulk

My heart has me tied to an anchor

Ready to drown in her ocean of tears

And it’s you, You’re the cause of my relapse.

I’d rather sit and be lost in my thoughts

The good times, the regrets, the ‘What ifs’

Who knew silence could put on a show worthy of applause

Come see my insides, see how I subtly grieve

But you and the world shouldn’t know,

That I’ve been hiding the hints of my sorrow

And it’s you, You’re the cause of my relapse.

How hard my lips work,

When all they want is to tremble, but force a smile instead

Loneliness steals my happiness, leaving me a wreck

And time, the anti-painkiller doesn’t make forgetting easy

I miss you, and I know it’s crazy

But every ounce of my body just wants you back

I relapse and you’re the cause.

Relapsing, I walk through a crowd, seeing no one

Voices everywhere, but all I hear is my heart crying

Eyes opened or closed, the only visual image is of you

Moving on seems like a myth now.

I’m relapsing, how will I pull through?

See previous posts leading to the above:

1.https://bowendiaries.wordpress.com/2013/09/07/the-other-woman/

2.https://bowendiaries.wordpress.com/2013/10/20/crying-marilyn/

3.https://bowendiaries.wordpress.com/2013/11/16/the-foreigner/