These Four Walls, and Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the thinking cap is brimful,

I seize the deceiving lifeline they offer.

They hint at the cold world beyond

So I fixate, and the dark clouds appear

Slashing because pain is pleasure

No roses, no well-wishes

Just these four walls, and me.

 

So I close my eyes and play out the scenes,

How words cut deeper than the sharpest edge,

Head buried in my palms, happy I can’t be.

So I give to myself, what I deserve

Slashing because pain is healing,

No hugs, no reassuring faces 

Just these four walls, and me.

 

When too much is indeterminable,

I sit in my blood bath.

Carving scars like I’m making a masterpiece,

Adding to the collection, like it’s some hobby,

Slashing because pain is unreal

No light in my world, no more zeal for life

Just these four walls, and me

 

When I go six feet under,

They will remember.

Autumn leaves on my grave, a reminder,

Of what was once upright, green with colour

A tree, once tall, no more it stands.

No more life, there was no love,

When it was four walls, and me.

 

 

Marilyn’s Perils

–5/5–

Cinder in the fireplace

Liquor empty decanters

The knife is in the hands of a pretty face

Somebody doeth wrong,

She, that is swathed in taffeta.

The moonlight entering darkness’ territory

Knife, back in its case, she ascends the stairs

He that is visibly absent, she imagines as her escort.

Breaking into a short-lived smile, the flashbacks start haunting,

That dance on the rooftop, where for another he professed love.

Scarlet she wore, heartache she bore.

Tears staining the fingertips of her white satin glove

She, She had it all, but betrayal, She never saw coming

Entering the chamber, She is deep in thought.

The night is beautiful, and still young

Climbing out the window,  surveying the rocky backyard,

The unthinkable plays at the back of her mind, a dirge waiting to be sang.

Chills through her body, hand imprints on the wall,

She steps back through the window and down onto the floorboard

Walking past the dresser into the bathroom,

The tap she leaves running to fill the tub, entering when half full

Still in her attire, she submerges.

One… two… three… her face appears at the water’s surface

Again under water, but reappearing seconds later

Wrapped with a towel, she’s reclined on the bed with a lost gaze

Tragedy avoided three times, sheer folly!

Heartache, insanity, they’ve kept her company.